In life it is a process to be able to create and manifest our hearts desires.
This can take time, dedication and regular practices to stay clear, happy and to have all our needs met. When our needs are not met, it can make us feel frustrated, overwhelmed, sad and a string of not so happy emotions.
This blog is about keeping in this happy place, when those around us are not.
A simple fact in life is that we are responsible for our health and happiness and no one else is making us feel, act or behave a certain way.
Though, there are basic needs that we have to have met. We need air, food, water, shelter and clothing and there are also other things in life we need. We need to feel safe, secure and to have faith and trust. It can be hard to stay is a happy and safe place when those around us are not.
So what do we do?
What happens when those close to us are out of integrity, are bullying us or are intimidating us with behaviour and words?
My advice is always to keep following the better feeling. If someone talks to you in a way that makes you feel shit, then why do you choose to put yourself in that space?
Sure we have good days and bad days and there are times when we have to hold space for others in our lives, this is part of what being in relationships teaches us. There can be days when our partners or children are tired, feeling unloved, unappreciated, over-worked or unsafe. We cannot provide these traits to others, though we can hold space for them on the ‘bad’ days.
We learn from being in relationships. That is how we grow, we evolve and expand. Each time someone pisses us off, it teaches us more about ourselves and what shit we have to release to be free of that. When we release that, next time we will not be triggered or we will choose to be in a different space doing something else. Releasing is the key here.
I follow daily practises to release and clear unresolved energies, thoughts and emotions in my life and the more I do that, the less reactive I become and the more I act according to my highest and greatest good. I feel clear, focused and happier.
So what can we do when others are upsetting us? Here are some of the tips that I use.
- I can chunk down why am I getting affected by them, what is my underlying need that is not being met. Someone making me sad can quite simply be me neglecting my own needs.
- Learn to express and say your truth. Always use ‘I’ statements and telling someone else that ‘You make me….’ Is playing the shame and blame game, this is not expressing your truth, its dumping your shit on others.
- Take responsibility to fulfil your own needs. Ensure you have enough sleep, rest, play time, relaxation are vital to reducing reactivity.
- Do things that make you happy. It is important that we exercise, have a hobby or creative outlet.
- Remove yourself from situations that do not feel good. Tell people if you continue to talk with me in this way I will go into the other room.
- Know that when others lash out, they are hurting. Remember only hurt people hurt people.
- Women, learn to share your softness, your vulnerabilities, do not be tough and put up with shit in your life. Be open to share how the events in your life make you feel.
- Have firm boundaries about what is acceptable in your life. Do not step over that line.
- Trust your gut feeling
- Learn to centre, ground and align yourself, I am happy to help you with that.
- Finally know how to release and let go of shit that is not serving you, I can also share quick and easy ways of how to do that.
It is important to know that if things are not working for you in your life, then CHANGE IT. You created it and you have the power to change it.
I always remember reading OSHO and being inspired by him saying that if he is having a conversation with someone and he is not enjoying it, he just walks off. That could be a little extreme and there can be more subtle ways to do this, though you get my drift.
We do not have to ‘put up with’ situations or ‘go along to get along’.
We are all divine, beautiful worthy being who deserve to be treated with love and respect. We want integrity and to feel safe, especially for women, it is this that makes up open our hearts and to share our love. Men love to feel appreciated and wanted, this encourages them to give their gifts. It can be quite easy once you have the formula.
Keep seeing your happy space and allow yourself time to daydream and know what that place is and remember any dramas in our lives are always a blessing and gifts for us to grow, learn and resolve what lies within.
If you want to learn more about staying in your ‘happy space,’ come and spend some time with me and I can teach you easy ways to stay healthy, happy, safe and loved.
Seeing you all in health and happiness,