Today I am resistant. I know I am I can feel it.
I can feel myself pushing against what I want to achieve. I feel the blocks inside of me and the voices in my head of self-doubt that say, just go and watch Netflix instead, just go and visit and friend, go have a sleep, go down the shop, have a drink, eat more chocolate. They are saying all the things that I could be doing, rather than doing what I want or planned to do.
SO I am writing about it, I am writing about my resistance and I am exploring it.
What is my resistance?
It is to everything, resistance is resistance. I am resisting exuding my true self, I am resisting my amazing health, I am resisting being my true self and being in my full impact. I am resisting being present and accepting myself, just the way I am. So I could really see it as hiding. Hiding who I truly am, taking a step back rather than stepping out. I am looking for excuses rather than doing what I really want to be doing.
How long have I been resisting?
I have been resisting for a few days now and in the beginning it was ok, I was fine with that and I was enjoying the chilling and the distractions, now I see it is resistance and I am embracing that. I want to change that now.
How it is playing out?
It is playing out with resistance thoughts and actions. Listening to others talking and instead of accepting their views and opinions I am challenging them, or saying that is not right, or disagreeing with them. This is not really working for me as I am not accepting them as they are which really means I am not accepting myself.
I also want to do things that are not serving my highest and greatest good, I am saying I will do it tomorrow and now three tomorrows have come and I am now aware of my resistance and my behaviours. I have always had resistance, I was raised with resistance and limitations and I am allowing this energy to keep playing out in my mind and my body.
So why is it important to me to resist?
As with everything in our lives, it has a payoff and I am getting something out of it.
It is keeping me hidden, it is stopping me take action and it is keeping me small. This matters to me because it gives me an excuse to not succeed, to stop the money coming it, to be complacent and to keep me in a hole. Why is that important? It stops me taking 100% responsibility for myself and my life. I look to blame others for making me feel the way that I do, when in reality, it is my doing.
What do I want instead?
I want to feel free, I want to feel safe, I want security and I want to take responsibility in my life. I know this will happen with focused action, though I know the plan I have to do and the action I have to take, though the resistance is stopping the action. I want to stop relying on others for what I want in my life and to do it myself.
Can I do this?
Yes I can do this and I have done it before and I know I can do it again. I want to get into the mindset of ‘I am rocking this thing’ and then I know I will let the good things in and I will stop pushing them away, along with the people I care about. So I have to care about myself first as I know this is an inside job. I know my business, finances, love and all the things I want in my life comes from my mindset.
How am I going to do this?
I am changing this now by writing about it and understanding it more. The more I understand it the more I am acknowledging it and the more I can change it. So I appreciate seeing what I am doing and I appreciate learning more about myself and I appreciate understanding more about myself as it helps to increase the connection I have to myself.
I will accept what I am doing and I will then let it go, I will let go of what others say, think and do I will do what feels good for me. And that is OK.
How am I feeling now?
I am feeling hopeful and that is good. I have changed my resistance because I have explored it and acknowledged it. Hopeful is a good foundation to have. From here I think I can take some small steps forward.
Thanks for sharing this journey with me, writing about my resistance and how it is impacting and affecting me has helped me to feel hopeful and I hope it has helped you to feel hopeful to.
If you help to move through your resistance, I am here to help. My 8 week lift off program allows me to hold your hand through any transition in life that you want. Check out my Lift Off program to find out more Louise’s Lift off program.